From Ways of Thinking and Writing by Frank W. Cushwa and Robert N. Cunningham (1936):
[Rule] 37. Avoid the "and" sentence; that is, a sentence in which and is used when there is no real coordination. Such sentences are sometimes called rocking-horse sentences. A good rule to remember is The fewer and's, the more effective the sentence. The remedy for the and fault is generally subordination.
Slipshod. My mother could not keep out the persistent rain, and I was thoroughly soaked before I reached my destination.
Much better. Since my slicker could not keep out the persistent rain, I was thoroughly soaked before I reached my destination.
[Rule] 39. Avoid what may be called the house-that-Jack-built sentences. They wander from one idea to another without purpose or plan. Sometimes the remedy is subordination; at other times the original sentence should be split up into shorter sentences. Sometimes both methods may be profitably employed.
Slovenly. Rawdon was the favorite of his Aunt Crawley, an old lady with immense fortune, the whole of which seemed destined to fall into his clutches, a fact which, in my opinion, was answerable for his singularly dissolute ways.
Better. Rawdon was the favorite of his Aunt Crawley, an old lady with immense fortune, the whole of which seemed destined to fall into his clutches. This fact, in my opinion, was answerable for his singularly dissolute ways.
Note -- Excessively enthusiastic GTOTD subscribers might like to invest $10 on Amazon for a used copy of Ways of Thinking and Writing, which seems to be a parallel gospel to the hallowed works of William Strunk of Cornell and John Hodges of UT.
Reading the 550 pages of Ways of Thinking and Writing may be as close as we can get in today's world to experiencing what it was like in one of those classrooms in the 1930s.
[Rule] 37. Avoid the "and" sentence; that is, a sentence in which and is used when there is no real coordination. Such sentences are sometimes called rocking-horse sentences. A good rule to remember is The fewer and's, the more effective the sentence. The remedy for the and fault is generally subordination.
Slipshod. My mother could not keep out the persistent rain, and I was thoroughly soaked before I reached my destination.
Much better. Since my slicker could not keep out the persistent rain, I was thoroughly soaked before I reached my destination.
[Rule] 39. Avoid what may be called the house-that-Jack-built sentences. They wander from one idea to another without purpose or plan. Sometimes the remedy is subordination; at other times the original sentence should be split up into shorter sentences. Sometimes both methods may be profitably employed.
Slovenly. Rawdon was the favorite of his Aunt Crawley, an old lady with immense fortune, the whole of which seemed destined to fall into his clutches, a fact which, in my opinion, was answerable for his singularly dissolute ways.
Better. Rawdon was the favorite of his Aunt Crawley, an old lady with immense fortune, the whole of which seemed destined to fall into his clutches. This fact, in my opinion, was answerable for his singularly dissolute ways.
Note -- Excessively enthusiastic GTOTD subscribers might like to invest $10 on Amazon for a used copy of Ways of Thinking and Writing, which seems to be a parallel gospel to the hallowed works of William Strunk of Cornell and John Hodges of UT.
Reading the 550 pages of Ways of Thinking and Writing may be as close as we can get in today's world to experiencing what it was like in one of those classrooms in the 1930s.
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